ONCE upon a time, a very young girl had big dreams and big plans. Plans to be become a wife and four children specifically two boys and two girls. She kept herself for that special person that somehow will be the father of her four children. She grew up in church but never heard the gospel. She had knowledge of God totally based on fear that He is waiting to strike her down for not being ‘good’. One can say that the relationship with God or lack thereof was based on God watching her every move.
FAST forward over a decade later, her plans were still in motion. She had met the man with whom she was going to leave happily ever after with. They both agreed to keep themselves pure until marriage. She left her homeland for a new country or better yet the Promised Land. Her dream to become a doctor was looking bright – well others’ dreams for her. She naturally chose a science major to pursue her medical degree. Along the way, the prince charming with whom she was destined to spend her life with died in a car accident. He was ready to propose to her and had gotten the ring but lo and behold the night before he died, they kissed each other and their last words were ‘I love you’.
PLANS shattered. Dreams died. During her junior year decided it wasn't really her plan to become a doctor but everyone around thought that it was the right field for her because one can say learning comes easy and she was a straight A student. But what should she do now? What should she study now? Any back up plans?
NOPE. Not one. She’s been listening to other people and following their will and plans.
Fast Forward another five years. She had a baby boy – out of wedlock. That was not the life she planned for. She was ashamed and embarrassed of being a single parent. She didn't become a doctor. She didn't marry her prince charming. She never dreamed of raising a child by herself. She withdrew from her friends and tried to run away to a whole different state. Just maybe she might start over with a clean state with no one knowing her background, her failures, her fears and sort of start over. She packed for Florida with a almost two month old baby boy in tow and headed south.
But God had a plan. God has planned all along to meet her at her lowest. Just a week after being in Orlando, she was invited to church and despite her many excuses for not going and one of which was she didn't belong in the house of God as a full time, full blown sinner and God was really going to hand her what she deserves.
IN that service, the pastor came forward and read Romans 7 and that deserves a post in itself. In short, it’s as if she was in the sanctuary by herself with God and the reading from which Paul shares his struggles with sin and the law. Finally, she thought ‘so someone understands me’ because the good she wanted to go she couldn't. And Paul claimed that it was sin living in her but more importantly, he posed the question ‘Who will rescue me from this body of death?’ She thought to herself “I can be rescue”. How? And by whom? Up to this point, the pastor was just reading the passage and she was having a full blown conversation in her head with the Scriptures , and he went on to answer the question ‘thanks be God through Jesus Christ our Lord’.
THAT’S my story and I was ruined for Jesus from that point forward. Yes I have blown over and over since but my life had meaning. God loved me. So much so that while I was living in serious sins for the first 26 years of my life, His Word said ‘while they were still sinners Christ died for us’.
Thank you Jesus. I lay it all down for you. While for many years, saying ‘all’ for you but in the back of my mind I didn’t really mean it because it meant loosing something or taking me to an unfamiliar place or doing something that will stretch me too far that I am willing. At this moment, you can take it all. Surrender everything if only to behold you.
TO him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. Jude 24-25.